This is my first blog and it contains whatever be a sprouting from the tip of ones beak. But I do wish to touch a subject that is effecting me at the moment, Its not a problem that’s there tweaking my nips and contesting an infinite stare off but It will be with me for a while.
As a bit of a controlling Parrot, wouldn’t life but nice if you could control everything that goes on around you, from your dog not emptying its colon five steps from the front door to having a boss that has atleast half the social etiquette of bus driver with prostate cancer.
Unfortunately, if someone is an arsehole, nine times out of ten we have to deal with it. Or we could tell the individual their a complete sack of dog shit and bare the consequences.
Well, as I’m a very discreet Parrot, I will step over the turd as oppose to them people who love the smell shit following them around.
For me It’s my brothers fiancé. I hate her. It didn’t start out so, she was generally nice, but she was well out of his league. The sort that was used to shagging crustaceans with mental issues. I wont go into further descriptive faults she bares as we could be here all day. So lets encapsulate a picture for you. Imagine Jimmy Krankie with bigger boobs. I know, the boobs don’t make the prospect of Jimmy Krankie any more attractive, but distracts from the face.
Of course I can’t tell my brother,
“sort your head out mate, your about to marry Jimmy Krankie”
Lets give my brother the pseudonym of Seabiscuit, (you know, the horse that was rode by Spiderman.)
What Seabiscuit’s problem is, he used to have a really good looking high maintenance girlfriend who was a really nice, (slightly mentally fragile) good natured girlfriend. Apparently she was shagging loads of people behind his back, but then I know that Seabiscuit has stud himself out many a time when ment to be in the stable. But 10 years ago, Seabiscuit was a vein and arrogant horse who would have rounded up his horse mates in the playground and would have hurled abuse at Jimmy Krankie. So from the offset something seemed different about Seabiscuit’s new girlfriend.
But back to the non-visible problems. Jimmy Krankie does cocaine, got obsessive compulsive disorder which seems to be selective to suit her, a wind up merchant, manipulative, controlling, immature. However she has some money, not that much though. I would pay more than she has to have her professionally silenced, if you catch my feathered drift.
Seabiscuit is in far from usual form to what his used, he doesn’t care about his appearance, his put on loads of weight and is reclusive from seeing his old friends and is stuck in the firm grip of Jimmy Krankie’s web.
Seabiscuit is happy living the comfortable life with a girlfriend who wont bang on about doing things, let him get fatter to deter the attention of other fillys. Krankie paid for him to go travelling around the world for a year and he even told me once he got back, he would just disappear and leave her.
I was disgusted by his shallow attitude at the time, but now, their bloody getting married to the family disapproval and I have found her to be a nasty creature now she has her Krankie claws in him.
Luckily god made divorces, but if she was to get pregnant. I feel I would have no choice but to ‘accidentally’ push her down the stairs, I can’t allow him to be permanently linked to this piece of shit for life and have a mini krankie sucking the money juice from his supple teets.
Due to having my own ambitions I can‘t take her out myself, but if there’s someone out there who is a trainee hitman and is building up their portfolio, I am generous enough to give you a donation and point you in the right direction.
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